Welcome to this week’s edition of “Monday at the Movies.”
This week, two films that (spoiler warning)
should have been better.
The Grey (2012) –
Somewhere between
The Phantom Menace
and
Taken, Liam Neeson turned into a
proper action hero to the point where he literally ran
The A-Team.
Neeson rapidly
developed a steady fanbase ready to follow him into any vehicle.
And the premise of
The Grey, as initially marketed, is as tempting as any the man
could possibly have accepted; the original trailers billed the film as,
essentially, “
Taken with
wolves.”
“Come see Liam Neeson punch
wolves,” the trailers promised, but when I finally caught up to the movie I got
something entirely different – a somber character study of a suicidal
survivalist up against a natural embodiment of death.
Neeson stars as the leader of a group of
plane crash survivors who trek through the tundra in search of rescue, while a
pack of wolves threatens their journey.
I try not to criticize a movie for being something other than what I was
expecting (indeed, defying expectations is often a good thing), but
The Grey was a bit misleading, promising
a confrontation we never actually get.
Neeson
is characteristically compelling as John Ottway, again toting a bag of skills
akin to those he possessed in
Taken,
and his morose voiceover sells the narration, a filmic technique I often resist
for telling and not showing.
Unfortunately, though, the film’s big antagonist – the wolf pack – never
really looks convincing; I’m sure it’s a preemptive strike against animal
cruelty folks, but the wolves are often stationary or shot in tight close-up,
never giving them a proper sense of menace – or motion.
At the end of the day, Neeson turns in great
work, per usual, but the film is certainly something other than what you’ve
been led to believe.
Hobo with a Shotgun
(2011) –
Grindhouse, what have ye
wrought?
Once upon a time, there was a
clear distinction between movies and rubbish, but after Robert Rodriguez and
Quentin Tarantino did a loving riff on the B-movie genre, the lesson learned
seems to have inspired tasteless filmmakers to call their work “homage” and
expect to get away with it.
Hobo with a Shotgun (itself originally a
Grindhouse trailer) stars Rutger
Hauer, grizzly as ever, as the titular residentially-challenged vigilante who
aims to reclaim the streets “one shell at a time.”
While the film claims to be a tribute to the
low-budget exploitation films of the 70s and 80s, what it really amounts to is
a bloody mess of a thing, oversaturated beyond visual comprehension and
unrelenting in its pointless violence.
Hobo with a Shotgun never reaches past
its title, never dodges the generic clichés that dominate the script, never
even surprises; the film is deliberately cheap and overly juvenile, teenaged
Tarantino let loose in a warehouse full of fake gore with none of the wit or
self-awareness from either
Planet Terror
or
Death Proof – or even
Machete, the other
Grindhouse trailer-cum-feature.
Hobo with a Shotgun
substitutes fun for bloodlust, assuming that the audience will delight in the
director’s mania for dismemberment; on this account, perhaps they succeed,
because a base feeling of revulsion is the only human emotion (not counting
boredom) that the film managed to elicit.
Maybe I’m taking this too seriously; maybe I’m just too old for
this.
But there’s little that’s earnest
about
Hobo with a Shotgun, and it’s a
colossally unwatchable beast.
That does it for this week’s edition of “Monday at the
Movies.” We’ll see you here next week!
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