The Third Man (1949)

I've praised old movies for having larger-than-life casts, and perhaps the largest of them all was Orson Welles - a genius underappreciated in his day and eventually immortalized as "The Brain" on Animaniacs.

I'm being glib. Welles was big - still is, as a matter of fact. Perhaps, then, Harry Lime is one of his best-known roles (after, naturally, Charles Foster Kane) because the character is like the man - seldom seen, always in the shadows, always in control, and of course larger than life. But I had a less than rapturous experience with The Third Man, which is not to say that the film was fantastically disappointing but rather that the experience of watching the film was.

Director Carol Reed handles a Graham Greene screenplay about American western writer Holly Martins (Joseph Cotten) in bombed-out Vienna. Martins has come to find his friend Harry Lime (Orson Welles), who's offered him a job, but when Martins arrives he learns that Lime has been killed in a car accident. After meeting Lime's lover Anna Schmidt (Alida Valli) as well as a few of Lime's deeply suspicious friends, Martins learns that there was an unidentified "third man" present when Lime was killed. Martins follows the trail of evidence to a startling discovery and a knockout chase through the sewers of Vienna.

It's almost impossible to talk about the movie without spoiling the big reveal that initiates the final act of the film, though it's a spoiler that's as common knowledge as the identity of the killer in Psycho - Harry Lime's not dead. The two leads - Cotten and Welles (an inversion of the billing on Citizen Kane) - are dynamite here, with Cotten proving that he's fine as a leading man. Welles does a good job of stepping out of the limelight (no pun intended) and relegating himself to a small but highly memorable supporting role. Of the two, it's easier to favor Welles, who lives up to the film's hyping of his impending appearance; the crucial scene in a ferris wheel is riveting, in which Welles gets to deliver the most famous line of the film - the cuckoo clock speech.

I can also appreciate what Reed did in the making of the film - shoot on location in what was left of Vienna and shoot a compelling chase scene through the sewers. But for every point I can give Reed for his accomplishments, I have to dock him one for the film's shortcomings. The film is riddled with confusing close-ups angled sharply in a disorienting effect; if this had a practical purpose, it'd be one thing, but it seems Reed is tilting the camera just for giggles. More problematic is the film's pacing; while it's enjoyable to see how nearly everyone in the supporting cast looks guiltier than sin, the film drags for a bit while Martins investigates his friend's death. Between the discovery of the existence of a "third man" and the revelation of who that third man is, almost nothing happens; there's some wriggling about Anna's forged passport, but nothing of substance. The film, the audience, and Martins all meander through Vienna trying to figure out where the narrative thread has gone.

But I think my principal problem with the film is the fact that Welles is reduced to a near cameo. The cover of the DVD jacket, and the predominant image in cultural memory, is that of Welles half-turned in a shadowy doorway, poised to enter the film. But the real tragedy is that Welles is criminally underused here, appearing in only two scenes of significance (three if you count his wordless introductory shot). I suppose it'd be like watching an episode of 24 because you heard there was a president on the show; naturally, this character appears, but the star of the visual drama is someone else entirely. For that reason, I feel a little guilty saying I wasn't a big fan of The Third Man, because I watched it with a very heavy anticipation of what the film would be. Consequently, my disappointment is more with my expectations than with the film itself. I'm certain this merits a second viewing, but just give me a little time first.

More my problem than the film's, The Third Man was finely made but just not "to my liking" - at least, not in the moment that I watched it.
The MPAA only "Approved" The Third Man, but today it'd probably land a PG "for thematic elements and smoking."

I'd really like to see this movie remade, certainly without the zither score; put Hans Zimmer or somebody on it to really bring out the suspense of the shadowed Viennese streets. As for cast: Robert Downey, Jr. as Holly Martins, Casino Royale's Eva Green as Anna, and George Clooney as Harry Lime - with the caveat that we not advertise Clooney's presence in the film, to heighten the intrigue in the film as Martins pursues him through Vienna (a la Kevin Spacey's uncredited appearance in Se7en). Christopher Nolan could do a fine job directing.

Call Me, Christopher Nolan - We'll Chat

Other than turning over the reins of the highly successful Batman franchise to the guy who does these Lego trailers (he's called Keshen8 over on YouTube), there's a lot of ways to do another Batman film that could possibly live up to the mantle of The Dark Knight. Since there are literally scads of ideas floating around on the Internet - and since I'm one of the most devout disciples of the Caped Crusader in my circle of amigos - I thought I'd chip in my two cents. Call me, Christopher Nolan; we'll chat.

Shadow of the Bat

The third film would focus on the theme of loneliness. Here we'd take inspiration from Loeb's Dark Victory (as beautifully illustrated by Tim Sale) and from his Hush storyline (with Jim Lee's astounding artwork). The film would explore how Batman and Commissioner Gordon have become lonely without being able to depend on each other. Introduce a slimy deputy of the mayor who's on hand at the MCU to ensure that Gordon doesn't collaborate with Batman. Gordon's loneliness at work is compounded when his wife leaves him (something that happens in the comics), so we may even want to make this mayoral spy Sarah Essen, Gordon's eventual second wife.

The film's major contribution to the franchise would be the introduction of Robin, who needn't be as young as Loeb/Sale depict him but who would be ideally suited to represent and eventually cure Batman's loneliness. Dark Victory proved, despite Nolan's repeated avowals that Robin has no place in his franchise, that The Boy Wonder can and does work with a dark detective like Batman. We'd stick to Robin's main origin as Dick Grayson, with the acrobats but remove the Schumacher influence of placing Two-Face at the crime. Make it a last grab from the mob and Boss Zucco to keep Gotham before the freaks take over.

Enter the freaks - Catwoman and The Mad Hatter. We'll use Catwoman as Hush depicted her - a sensual love interest for Batman, who he mulls trusting since she's an anti-hero more than an outright villain. In Hush, Bruce even reveals his identity to Catwoman, but we don't need to go that far. The point of Catwoman being in the film would be to show that Batman needs someone he can trust - beyond just Alfred and Lucius, who have to be in the movie because I love Michael Caine & Morgan Freeman.

With The Mad Hatter, we'll depict him as a societal loner, a pedophile with an Alice complex who is the dark mirror of Batman's loneliness, muttering lines from the Lewis Carroll works (he thinks, for example, that Batman is the Jabberwock). At some point, The Mad Hatter kidnaps Gordon's daughter - or maybe the mayor's - thinking she's Alice, and the good guys have to turn to Batman, knowing that he's the hero they deserve. Using the child's mind that Robin has, Batman tracks The Mad Hatter down and apprehends him, reconciling himself with the city.

At the end of the film, a la the ending of Hush, Catwoman says something that happens to be a line from Alice - "Oh my claws and whiskers!" Batman, unsure that he can trust her, pushes her away, leaving her free to be a villain or ambiguous love interest in a future film. Robin joins Batman's team, and the Dynamic Duo is born.

Untitled Fourth Batman Project

I haven't come up with a name for my proposed fourth Batman film, mostly because The Dynamic Duo is too cartoonish, but I kind of like Streets of Gotham even though it suggests this is more about cops than the caped crusaders.

All I have on this one right now is Brittany Murphy for Harley Quinn. If she frees her Mistah J, he can don the Red Hood outfit and fall into a vat of acid, emerging as a different actor (Daniel Day-Lewis can be a renegade psycho). I'd love to see Johnny Depp as The Riddler, especially if he takes a cue from his Hush incarnation. The Riddler could kill Mr. Reese, because Batman's identity is a great riddle and only The Riddler deserves to know the answer - on his own. Or, we could utilize Paul Dini's characterization of The Riddler as a pop private investigator. Throw in Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin - he must own a nightclub and not actually be a penguin like Danny DeVito's interpretation - and/or Ben Kingsley as Mr. Freeze.

Call me, Christopher Nolan; we'll chat.