The James Bond Countdown

Welcome back to the ostensible finale of the two-year Double-Oh-Seventh celebration of the James Bond franchise.

What a time for it, too, with Thursday’s announcement that “Bond 24” will be entitled Spectre (release date October 23, 2015 – so expect our review on October 26).  The title has such delightfully ominous associations in the world of 007.  The official plot synopsis:

A cryptic message from Bond’s past sends him on a trail to uncover a sinister organisation. While M battles political forces to keep the secret service alive, Bond peels back the layers of deceit to reveal the terrible truth behind SPECTRE.

With Lea Seydoux and Monica Bellucci as the Bond girls, Ralph Fiennes and Ben Whishaw returning as M and Q, and Christoph Waltz and Andrew Scott rumored to be playing the villains, perhaps the most exciting news is that Sam Mendes is back after a franchise high-point with Skyfall.  It seems like he’ll be picking up on plot points from the Craig era – secret organizations, political pressure against MI6, further exploration of Bond’s heretofore unseen past.  All good news, especially for someone who loved Skyfall the way I did.

But just how much did I love Skyfall?  At the end of two years’ worth of reviews, what do I make of the entire James Bond film series?   You’ve come to the right place; after the jump, you can read my James Bond Countdown, ranking all twenty-four 007 movies.

0024.  Octopussy (1983)

Octopussy really takes the cake as, no contest, the dullest Bond yet. ... I’d actually tried to watch Octopussy once before but gave up.  And I can’t remember where I gave up because nothing in Octopussy is memorable.

Undeniably the worst Bond film in the entire canon, Octopussy is that rare film that also shares the distinction of being entirely forgettable.  I reviewed the film nearly a year ago, and I can’t tell you anything about the plot beyond what I can piece together from still-photograph memories (Bond is in a casino, and at one point he’s dressed as a clown).

0023.  Moonraker (1979)

There’s actually about an hour’s worth of good material in Moonraker before the film descends into a weird self-parodying science-fiction cartoon, a totally bland mess of a movie. ... there’s a skeleton of a great Bond movie in there somewhere, and if we hadn’t just seen the exact same plot in Spy Who Loved Me it’d be a winner.

What separates Moonraker from Octopussy, aside from the pleasant return of Jaws, is the outlandishly absurd quality of Moonraker that makes it at least lightly unforgettable (though heaven knows we’ve tried).

0022.  For Your Eyes Only (1981)

While this Bond is a conscious refutation of its campy precursors, that distancing comes at the cost of the overall Bond vibe; For Your Eyes Only feels like James Bond has been dropped into a different film franchise altogether, in which he’s playing a kind of guest role.

Another forgettable Bond entry is in some ways redeemed by the fact that Roger Moore actually tries to take the role seriously.  It’s only too bad the plot didn’t get the same degree of attention.

0021.  The Living Daylights (1987)

The plot is quite thin, usually an excuse to move from one rousing action sequence to another, and furthermore it’s unnecessarily complex; Bond aside, every character double-crosses another at least once, and by the time we get the expository monologue from the main villain it’s really not clear how each of the moving pieces contributes to the plan – which I’m still unclear whether it was about weapons, embezzling, drugs, or human trafficking.

Dalton’s debut, an effort to undo the worst excesses of the Moore era, is disappointing in its lack of innovation, though the action and the John Barry score earn high marks.

0020.  Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Ultimately, though, Diamonds Are Forever is a film that both shows its age and appears terribly dated.  With a hint of tired resignation in Connery’s otherwise implacable persona, it’s a shame that he goes out on this note since we know – we’ve seen – he can do so much better.

Sean Connery’s lowest-ranking Bond film is also his last.  It’s not a total disaster, but it’s grayer at the temples than Connery himself, an inauspicious conclusion for the best Bond and his best nemesis Blofeld.

0019.  Quantum of Solace (2008)

The best material in Quantum, it seems, is elsewhere – off camera, in the credits, or nestled in the viewer’s imagination.  The saddest thing about the film is its unlived potential, glimmers of what the follow-up to Casino Royale should have been

Daniel Craig’s second turn as 007 is less than the sum of its parts, due somewhat to its brutally apparent unfinished state, courtesy of a writers’ strike and a lack of narrative glue holding the better bits together.

0018.  Die Another Day (2002)

The inorganic quality of the plot results in a film that is neither a triumph nor a catastrophe.  There are moments when Die Another Day is quite entertaining, but the moments when it isn’t prevent the whole from coalescing into a fulfilling moviegoing experience.

As astonishingly dumb as this movie often is, at least Die Another Day manages to muster up a sense of enthusiasm and bloodflow during its more actiony-bits.

0017.  Live and Let Die (1973)

The verdict in brief is that the film itself isn’t a fantastic first entry for Moore, though he acquits himself well in the role. ... Forget Blaxploitation – this is Bondsploitation, and the two genres don’t mix as well as that shaken-not-stirred.

It isn’t a bad debut for Roger Moore, but Live and Let Die is more dated than it should be, with good ideas that are marred by stereotypical or just plain clumsy handling.

0016.  The World Is Not Enough (1999)

In a franchise full of diabolical villains, gorgeous women, and legendary action sequences, the worst thing a Bond film can be is boring.  But for the most part, The World Is Not Enough is exactly that – horrifically dull.

Again, a Pierce Brosnan film with first-rate action sequences – including, for my money, one of the best pre-credit openers – but the pursuit of the evildoers slips quickly into tedium as Bond is reduced to a bodyguard in the scenes where the audience isn’t bullied into accepting Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist.

0015.  A View to a Kill (1985)

After seven films and twelve years, A View to a Kill marks Moore’s last outing as 007, and it’s mixed feelings all around.  The film itself isn’t bad, but one gets the feeling that Moore has wasted too much time getting here.

When Moore isn’t pretending to be younger than his years, the film works as a study in an aging Bond. Christopher Walken’s first-rate scenery-devouring villain is the real star attraction in a Bond film that ultimately adds up to “just good.”

0014.  Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Taken in macro, Tomorrow Never Dies just doesn’t work, but on a micro scale there’s enough enjoyable material to make this better than at least half of the Bond films I’ve already reviewed.

Maybe I’m being nostalgic here, but the sheer dumbness of the plot is finely outmatched by the infectious sense of fun and Pierce Brosnan’s clear comfort in the role of James Bond.

0013.  Thunderball (1965)

  Here’s the thing about Thunderball:  it’s not Goldfinger. ... But watching the two virtually back to back means that something about the movie doesn’t quite hit it.

I might be too unkind to this film, but I just don’t find the underwater assault sequences as compelling as in #0011 on this list.  At the end of the day, though, it is Sean Connery in the Caribbean, which has to be worth at least something.

0012.  The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Like most of my favorite Bond movies, this one involves Bond searching out clues and evidence; neither he nor the audience has all the pieces when the film starts.  This air of mystery that [director Guy] Hamilton cultivates, even amid the irritating supporting cast and the grotesquely misplaced slapstick comedy, makes The Man with the Golden Gun an engrossing feature film, one that plays to the strengths of its leads and its director.

Here’s the moment where ranking the Bond films gets a little difficult, because the rest are all strong entries in the canon.  If Roger Moore’s Bond were as compelling as Christopher Lee’s titular villain, maybe Golden Gun would place higher.

0011.  Never Say Never Again (1983)

Finally, with 1983’s Never Say Never Again, we can officially say:  James Bond is back, baby.  And with Sean Connery back at the helm, it’s almost enough to overlook the film’s faults.

It’s not an “official”-official Bond film, but it’s Sean Connery remaking Thunderball in a movie that wears its confidence and exuberant enthusiasm on its sleeve.

0010.  You Only Live Twice (1967)

In fact, that’s a good way to think of You Only Live Twice – full of things that don’t really make much sense but end up working when they’re put together.  It’s not a great Bond film by any stretch, but it’s a successful one in that it never fails to be engaging.

You Only Live Twice lands this high on the list by sheer force of absurdity.  Sean Connery pretends to be Japanese, Blofeld builds a rocket in a volcano, and Roald Dahl scripts a meta-deconstructive Bond film that plays by – and simultaneously ends up canonizing – all the rules of a Bond film.

009.  Licence to Kill (1989)

Licence to Kill is a very gritty Bond, and for me that’s really not a bad thing.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that this film is actually quite underrated in the Bond canon.

I had never watched Licence to Kill before this year – which, incidentally, made it the last Bond film I’d never seen before – but in it I see glimpses of Daniel Craig’s grittier take, as well as a Bond film that manages also to be a great revenge/action flick.

008.  The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

With a lackluster villain and an uninspiring Bond girl – arguably two-thirds of the Bond formula – it’s even more surprising that the film works as well as it does.  Perhaps Moore gets a bad rap, since it’s predominantly his shoulders upon which the film rests and succeeds.

For all the things that don’t work in The Spy Who Loved Me, it comes as even more of a surprise that Roger Moore is at his all-time best in this, his third performance as James Bond.  Even the Marvin Hamlisch disco-inflected score works well, making this a quintessential Bond and the most palatable in the Reign of Moore.

007.  On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

Honestly the film does so much else right that Lazenby would need to do a rubbish job for it to impact the success of the film.  Truth be told, Lazenby isn’t a remarkable Bond – he’s no Sean Connery, to be sure – but his work is, in a word, serviceable.

Can you imagine if Sean Connery had been the star of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service?  George Lazenby isn’t bad, but his performance is just about the only thing holding back an otherwise spot-on perfect Bond film.

006.  From Russia with Love (1963)

The whole of From Russia with Love is truly greater than the sum of its parts, though, because all the negative points the film scores with Bond’s inaction and Tatiana’s empty presence are outweighed by the generally rousing sense of adventure one gets throughout the film.

Though the middle of the film isn’t exciting enough for my tastes, the rest of the film – its unforgettable introduction and its divine Orient Express climax – is Sean Connery at his genre-defining best.  Points also to John Barry, making his debut as composer and in a very real sense redefining the very notion of a cinematic action score.

005.  Casino Royale (2006)

I can’t imagine anyone not feeling a strong chill of accomplishment up the spine with an awed murmur of “And we’re back.”  “James Bond will return,” the credits promise in that noble tradition, but Casino Royale has demonstrated that Bond has already returned.

As Judi Dench said of Daniel Craig, “He’s good news,” and this is essentially the first gospel in the New Testament of James Bond, grounding the character in 21^st century realism without losing the panache of what made the series a hit in 1962.

004.  Goldeneye (1995)

It’s a rousing smash of a film, exuberantly entertaining and all in a very rightly earned show-offy kind of way.  It reinvents a number of wheels, most successfully the arrival of a female M, played brilliantly by Judi Dench.

I surprised even myself with how much I loved Goldeneye.  Watching all the Bond films in sequence really draws out just how fresh Pierce Brosnan’s take was, and even in isolation it’s a smash success of a film.

003.  Dr. No (1962)

As the first Bond film, it’s almost too easy to say that Dr. No is an instant classic, a trendsetter, and a first-rate spy film.  But it is.

Even without the franchise to follow, Dr. No is both a pitch-perfect time capsule of the ’60s and a timeless exercise in precision filmmaking.  The fact that it set a new bar for espionage films doesn’t hurt its chances, either.

002.  Skyfall (2012)

Skyfall is one of the best Bond films in recent memory, even surpassing Casino Royale in several important ways. ... Since Daniel Craig was cast as the sixth (official) Bond, Skyfall is the film for which we’ve been waiting.

Everything about Skyfall screams “WOW,” from its relentless pacing to its return-to-form villain (the ever-ooky Javier Bardem).  Daniel Craig and Judi Dench do the best work in their tenures as 007 and M, while the winning combination of tight script and laser-sharp directing give us a technical wonder to behold.

001.  Goldfinger (1964)

1964’s Goldfinger, the third outing in the James Bond franchise, is almost unanimously regarded as the greatest of the series, the (unavoidable pun alert) gold standard against which all other entries have been measured. ... Simply put, there is nothing about this film that does not work.

It isn’t just James Bond’s finest hour, but I’d put Goldfinger even among the ranks of “Overall Perfect Movie.”  Not one scene is wasted, not one detail is unmemorable, and not one filmgoer would conclude that it could ever get better than this.  A gold medal for Goldfinger.

And so concludes the two-year odyssey through twenty-four James Bond films.  I have a few ideas for what’s to come in 2015, but your suggestions would be most welcome in deciding next year’s programming.  Until then, this is King, Cinema King, signing off.